say yes to the dress? cont.

So they all lived happily ever after right? Right? Well, maybe. I’ll let u all know in approximately 6 months J

So with the wedding less than 6 months away, it is still yet to be determined if I

a) have a freakishy large rib cage, or

b) just ate a few too many cheeseburgers and slices of pizza and ball park hot dogs and kc’s famous bbq and cupcakes and...and need to spend some QT on the ellipitical, or

c) am never going to have a career with  cirque de soleil as a contortionist who can dislocate her shoulders and give a big yank to the zipper on a fragile dress…

Obviously, I am hoping it’s a combo of b) and c)…that with some healthy eating, plenty of workouts, a sexy pair of spanx, and the help of another person working from behind instead of my ill-equipped-for-this-task arms which happen to face the wrong direction, I’ll be able to zip up the dress. Cuz it’s SO PRETTY. And SO LACY. And SUCH a great color. And makes me feel all fancy and twirly. And I don’t have a couple grand laying around to buy another one (details details). And did I mention it’s also SO PRETTY? (I hope I am not building up this dress so much that people expect something Princess-Di-like when I walk down the aisle. Please take all my hyperbole with a grain of salt. Maybe I am projecting more beauty onto the most expensive dress I will ever own. Or maybe it’s bridal myopia. I just think it’s totes amazeballs and hope you all do to, that is, if you ever get the chance to see it, which would you know, require that I can zip the darn thing up).

So anyway, in order to fit into this beaut, we’ve been eating healthy. For about 9 months (if I do indeed fit into the dress, I may have to wear a “sponsored by cooking light” sign).  And we’ve been working out. For about 3 months on the regular. And I’ve lost 10 lbs and toned up since our efforts began with the purchase of a scale and the startling revelation that if I was a college wrestler, there would be 4 weight classes I’d need to put on the rubber suit to cut weight for. So really I needed to do this whole eating better/working out thing regardless of the wedding dress situation. But nothing like a little added incentive.

Well, even losing the equivalent of a gallon of milk (and then some), plus wearing supersexyspanx still doesn’t seem to allow me to zip up my dress. So I’ll keep on keeping on with the eating and the working out. And I’ll try to be better on weekends (as the aforementioned cheeseburgers and pizza and cupcakes and nachos and Chik-fil-A and cocktails (oh I didn’t mention those before, yep, been eating those too)…tend to sneak in when we’re out and about on weekends, but seriously you can’t order a salad at a bbq joint, so what’s a girl supposed to do? And I’ll up the intensity of my workouts (thus far I’ve just been trying to get back my cardio as sitting on the couch for over a year doesn’t do much for the ole ticker…but now I’m getting my groove back…so I can push it a bit more). I’ll also start doing pilates again this summer…So hopefully between the combo of that and having a personal dresser to zip me, I’ll be able to slip right into my dress. And breathe too.

But what if it is option a)? that my (apparently) XL ribs are simply not designed to fit into this dress? Obviously, no amount of dieting or spanx will be able to change that (unless I went all Victorian style and removed a couple of ‘em). I hope it doesn’t come to this, but if it should, I DO have a backup plan (too be continued…)